Hey Brain….

That thing you do? You know, with the whispered asides and the biting sarcasm and the undermining of confidence?

Yeeeeahhhhh, I’m going to need you to knock it off. Its kind of fucking with our ability to coherently put together ideas into a story format. Being as putting ideas into a story format is what, and let’s not kid ourselves here, keeps us sane you idiot, it is important to not disturb that process.

We have enough on our plate without adding a trip to the local sanatorium for an extended stay, mmkay?

Love you. Mean it.
~The Mgmt

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Bordeaux’s in Kyle, TX : A Review

http://www.bordeauxs.net/

The short version: OM NOM NOM NOM!

The long version: Mister Man and I went to Bordeaux’s last night. We had made plans the day before to “give it a try” as it is one of the restaurants in Kyle we hadn’t yet been.

Now, the outside of the place is utterly unpreposessing. In fact, it looks a little grimy. But, I figured at the very least, they didn’t have paper napkins. I wanted to dress up beyond the “jeans and T-shirt” fare that I normally wear. I put on a nice shirt and skirt. People, I even wore makeup for this outing*. Mister Man contented himself with a linen shirt and nice jeans. We were ready to go!

As I said, the outside of the place will fool you. It looks a bit smallish and somewhat grubby. You expect to walk into a place full of moth-eaten red velvet drapes and formica tables topped with purple plastic grapes. Not so. First off, the place is much larger than appearances suggest. There may well be some Tardis technology involved, I’m not sure. The back of the restaurant is given over to an alcove martini bar. The decor is suprisingly elegant with local cedar beams “supporting” a wall and a couple of flambeaux in between. The waitstaff & hostess were dressed in understated pin-striped black shirts and black slacks**.

It was surprisingly busy for a Tuesday night. There were probably a good 8-10 people in the martini bar & the dining area had another 18 or so. We had requested a booth, which meant we had to wait about 5 minutes while the staff cleared one for us.

After we got seated, our waitress approached & asked if we would like to order drinks. We would and did. Now, in my defense, I will say that I have been watching old movies all week long. So, what I asked for was a Manhattan, when what I was really wanting was a Cosmopolitan***. After the nice lady had left, I started to idly browse through their martini & drink menu. Of COURSE the Manhattan recipe was in there! Oh, my god it has WHISKEY in it! That is not what I wanted at all! We flagged down our waitress again. I explained, very earnestly, that what I wanted was a vodka Manhattan. She, a perfect professional, didn’t even raise an eyebrow or bat an eyelash. “Of course. I will instruct the bartender”. And, off she went. Mister Man and I laughed for a second and offered our thanks that the bar area was so busy; that way the bartender hadn’t poured the wrong drink! I went back to chatting with Mister Man and now it was his turn to idly turn the pages of the drink menu. I was explaining what I was wanting: you know, a Manhattan: vodka, triple sec, a splash of cranberry…. He gets a funny look on his face and asks if what I meant was a Cosmopolitan? Reality crashed back in. Oh, dear. Yes. That was what I had meant. However, this time we were too late. No sooner had we had made our discovery, the waitress returns with a vodka Manhattan. We explained what had happened. Again, she simply smiled and promised to go and make it right. I was so very embarrased. Heck, I’m blushing NOW, hours and hours later. A few minutes later, it sorted itself out. I got the drink I actually wanted (as opposed to the one I had ordered…twice, *sighs*.)

THE FOOD

Mister man ordered the Ribeye and I ordered the Filet Mignon, medium-rare. The description of it reads: “A center cut melt-in-your-mouth filet served with our signature jalapeño béarnaise sauce.” Truth in adverstising, m’friends. That steak was tender, tasteful, juicy and came apart like warm butter in my mouth. It was *delicious*. The sautéed green beans that we got as our side were astonishingly good; crunchy and just a hint of maple.

I tell you this much, I would be willing to take my ever-so-snooty chef of a brother to this place. And I am DEFNITELY taking Michael when he visits & the almost-in-laws when they are here.

Four Thumbs up (mine and MM’s)

* – but not hose. Hose are strictly for weddings and funerals.
** – yes, this is all important; keep in mind that we are talking about KYLE, TX here, mmkay?
*** – http://www.drinksmixer.com/drink5828.html & http://www.drinksmixer.com/drinkb1c8881.html, respectively

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Huh. OK, then.

Today’s PSA is for the Racktastically Endowed

Cold house + shower dial set to all the way over to “H” + Phone call that makes you forget previous + bodaciousness = nipples on FIYAH.

OW.

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