Lo, there do I see my players…

Getting ready for tomorrow’s game. This has been a long and very complex game thus far. I don’t see any signs of that changing. Except, perhaps, to grow even more complicated.

Moo ha ha ha.

Ahem.

Anywho, I’ve just finished putting together the notes for the last game. Thought I’d share them here so y’all can see what an evil GM I truly am.  (Please refer to previous evil laughter, thanks).

————————

Players,

Here is my memory of recent events (which could be wrong, so if I miss a point, please let me know):

 

* You guys left the Ruins/Library and swung a little south to hit up Akrim

* There have been a couple of battles, 1.) land lizard stampede, HOOOOO! and 2.) omnivraxes are bad, mmkay?

* Backtracking the lizards led you to a very bad place, with a giant tower made of brass and runes sketched into many, many things.

* After some deliberation, y’all beat feet. There is talk of coming  back at some point in the future.

* Ishan is along for the ride and gives you the rundown on Reincarnators

* Omnivraxes are bad. Vasps are worse. Like giant scorpions on meth with a side of Lloth

*Outside the city, musical interlude. Tim is much relaxed. Minozh has a flash of hope.

* Akrim is a very organized place

* Y’all meet the Orgovians. Between an awesomely fumbled Merchant roll by the patriarch (Oralo) of a particular clan + a none-too-shabby Etiquette/Haggle roll on the part of Tim, you will be given status as “trusted” by the head of that particular clan. ** This helps by giving you a system of contacts. They’re over charging you, a bit. But, in a gentle and respectful manner.

* Y’all determine to go with the caravans to Cymril after heading into The Barrens to destroy ‘an evil lich, oooooh we hates liches, we do!” /tim

* In the meantime, trade trade trade buy sell haggle trade

-> give me a list of what all y’all have acquired, plz

* An interlude with a kind Drow (an Ariane to you Tal natives; you’ve no idea what a Drow is or why even the merest mention of them makes Minozh even scarier).

* A-trackin’ we will go, a-trackin’ we will go. Heigh-ho the killers-o, a-trackin’ we will go!

* They, um. Went that way, boss. There is a LOT of them.

* Ishan imparts his knowledge of their foes: the Za are naughty, mean zoots with a penchant for blood drinking and ritual sacrifice

 

 

I think that is most everything. I know there is a golden beetle in there somewhere, as well as various dream sequences.

 

 

 

ready for this
source: http://cache.desktopnexus.com/thumbnails/1353467-bigthumbnail.jpg

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Players, y’all can read the footnote. BUT, this is information that you do not have in game.

 

 

** – he and all his kith/kin are exiles because they wanted to expand the Orgovian way of life by setting up a trading stall in a city. That is why there are so many of them in Akrim. The other Orgovian nomads will mostly ignore & refuse to trade with him.

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Choogling

The face of anxiety is varied.

It is a fear of failure. It is a fear of success. It is a fear of never going anywhere. It is a fear of going somewhere and then fucking it up, but good. It is a fear of answering the phone. Fear of not answering it. Fear of rejection. Fear of offending someone, somehow. Fear of looking stupid. Fear of everything, everything, everything.

There are days, even as I look somewhat desperately for a job, that it is hard for me to even listen to voicemails left on my phone.

It is debilitating and exhausting. It makes everyday tasks seem insurmountable. Piles of clean laundry, waiting to be folded become monuments to Everything That is Wrong With Me™.

On the upside, I know most of it is in my head.

 

my head is a dark place, sometimes
my head is a dark place, sometimes

The downside is, of course, that often that doesn’t fucking matter. I can be perfectly aware that my thoughts aren’t right/normal/whatever and it doesn’t.fucking.matter. I will still sit in dread, petrified by the thoughts circulating in my brain like meth-addled goldfish.

Every now and again, I get a bright glimmer of me (as I used to be) flickering through my body. I’ll sit up straighter, start making plans and lists, think about story ideas, put away a few pieces of laundry. All too soon, the energy and oomph fade.

It’s disheartening, y’all.
It’s disheartening as fuck.

All I can do is to keep choogling. I’m too stubborn to just lay down and give up.

———————————————-

I started that ^^ post about three days ago. It took me that long to finish writing (*counts*) 270 or so words. Good grief.
Since then, my mood has crept back up to a more even keel and I’ve even (GASP!) put away a lot of laundry. Mt. Clean is no more. I feel like I should plant a fucking flag or something. I’m still climbing and there is still work to do. But, I am also not hiding in a corner and praying that it all overlooks me.

I’ll take it.

🙂

 

Peace and flag-planting on YOUR deepest, darkest night terrors m’friends. 

 

 

Clumsy is as Clumsy does

You totally read the title in Forrest Gump’s voice, didn’t you?

 

 

You guys, I have a confession to make. Or maybe not a confession so much as a realization.

I’m never going to grow out of my clumsy phase.

 

 

 

I mean, I am not Cato and Clouseau levels, but I am probably the only person I know who can be actively thinking to herself “I should probably be using the guard on this mandolin slicerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrOWWWWWW FUCK FUCK FUCK!”

Because that is pretty much exactly what happened.

To quote the Jerk, if you are squeamish and don’t like to see injuries or snails, look away.

 

I totally had to learn a new program to insert that snail over my [wee] injury.
I totally had to learn a new program to insert that snail over my [wee] injury.

 

Yep. I have managed to carve a tiny chunk of my finger off. Mandolin slicer is sharp, yo. And that is just one of the multitude of injuries that I have inflicted on myself. Whapping my knees on my desk is an everyday occurrence. Misjudging where the wall is in relation to the door and catching it with my shoulder or elbow is pretty common, too. Let’s not even talk about how many times I have broken my toes on walls, coffee tables, doorjambs, or bare fucking floors. Also, I cook and bake. Like, a lot. I have done all but set myself on fire.1

 

I actually kind of amazed that I have made it this far without, yanno, doing more lasting damage to myself.

 

 

 

 

1 — I have a gas stove. …..*knocks on wood to throw off jinxes*

Sometimes, I Cook

Don’t dream it, be it.
– Tim Curry

I made a lovely curry the other night and posted crowed about it on the Book of Faces. A good friend asked for the recipe. No problem, I thought. I’ll whip that together in a few minutes. It wasn’t that difficult of a dish.

*SIGH*

I must learn some brevity when writing. Or, at least, when writing recipes. I can’t seem to get the hang of just setting down ingredients and instructions.

But, here’s the thing. I often don’t measure when I am cooking. I’ll add spices until it smells right (or if we are mid-cedar season, tastes right). Basically what I am saying is that unless it is obvious what the amount is (e.g., a can of something or 2 pounds of meat), I am totes guessing. As for simply writing instructions…well, where’s the fun in that?

LET'S GET STARTED!!
LET’S GET STARTED!!

My advice is to use the below as a starting point and taste as you go. You’ll know what is right for your tribe.

Oh, yeah. RE: the beef/turkey. That is just what I had on hand. You can go all turkey or all beef or even lamb, although I imagine you’d have to adjust the seasonings for that last one. I am not a lamb fan (unless they’re hopping about being adorbs) so I have no idea how to cook one.  In this instance, “Son? You’re on your own.”

Curried Beef and Pomegranate

2 tablespoons coconut oil
1 half a giant sweet onion, slivered into strips
About half of a large orange sweet bell pepper, also julienned
2 tablespoons of diced garlic (for once I kept the garlic light-ish; I didn’t want to overwhelm the pom arils with garlic flavorin’)

1 pound each, ground turkey (85/15) and ground beef (80/20)
1/2 teaspoon pink Himalayan salt, ground
1 teaspoon ground pepper (I used a tri-color mix)

1 large pomegranate, de-podded
1 bag frozen yellow and green zucchini squash
Honey  (in a squeeze-y bottle)
Lime juice  (also from a squeeze-y bottle)
Broth

Curry Paste

Allspice
Yellow curry powder
Cayenne pepper
Ginger
Cumin
Paprika
Olive oil

This is how we do it.

I used my big cast iron skillet. I’d recommend you use YOUR biggest pan as this recipe makes a small ton.

Heat the oil on medium low heat. Swirl it around so it coats the bottom and up the sides a bit. Put your onions and peppers in there and stir so that they are nice and coated.  Cook covered, stirring occasionally, until they’re softened. This took about 10 minutes (give or take, I admit to not actually watching the clock). Turn up the heat to medium and cook for an additional 5 minutes or so. The point here is to make sure their flavor is super sweet, hence the longer cooking time.

cast iron and onions

Now, add the garlic and let that cook for about 5 minutes.

Add your protein. As previously stated, you can use almost anything here – even TVPmeat crumbles”, I imagine. Smoosh it all so that the onions, peppers, and garlic are all of a piece with the meat. Sprinkle the salt and pepper over this mixture and smoosh it around some more.  Cook the whole thing until browned thoroughly. While it is cooking, you can make your curry paste.

In a coffee mug put all the dry spices for a curry paste.  I chose savory-sweet-complex with a hint of heat. You can go for whatever floats your particular boat. Spices in the mug?  Good. Smell it. MMMMMM, CURRY.  If I had to guess, I’d say that I used 2 whopping tablespoons of yellow curry powder, 1 tablespoon each of allspice, cayenne, cumin, and ginger, and a ½ tablespoon of sweet smoked paprika. The reality is I dumped these into a cup and sniffed it until it smelled like I wanted. *shrug*  Alton Brown, I am not.

Now add enough oil that when you stir it, it turns into the consistency of grainy Elmer’s glue (i.e., viscous but still movable). Lovely.

Using a rubber spatula1, spoon your curry paste into your meat mixture.

Stir it into your meat so that it is evenly distributed throughout. Eeeeeeeverybody gets some curry rubbed on them.2

Add the arils and stir them into the mixture.

Add the honey (two good, strong-squeezing circles over the meat mixture).

Add the lime (one good medium-squeezing circles over the meat mixture).

Aaaaaaaaaaand, stir.

meat mixture

Add the squash and stir it so that the little frozen slices break apart and get some of the sauce slathered over them.

If your mixture is looking a little dry, add some broth. I had some veggie broth on hand, so that is what I wound up using. Don’t use a lot. Just enough to keep the curry-slurry moving.
Cover your pan and set your primary3 kitchen timer for about 8 minutes. This gives the zukes enough time to cook and take on flavor, but not enough that they become slimy. No one likes a slimy zuke.

Once the timer goes off, you are essentially done. Serve hot over coconut milk rice.

What? You want THAT recipe too?  Sheesh, people.
*wink*

Coconut milk rice

2+ cups water
1 cup jasmine rice
1 good tablespoon of coconut oil
Dash salt
2/3 cup of EITHER heavy whipping cream OR coconut milk

*NOTE* Start this dish at about the  same time you start your curry.

In a medium pot, boil water (use a smidge more water than the package calls for), salt, & oil over high heat.

Once it starts boiling, add the rice.
Cover. Set secondary timer to 18 minutes.

Once the timer goes off, turn the heat off. Pour your milk/cream over the rice. Let sit covered until you finish up with the curry.

Fluff with a fork.

NOM.

nom

———–

1 – So that you get every last yummy drop of it, of course.
2—That sounded far naughtier than I had intended.  :/

3—I have three.  Sometimes when I am cooking, I am timing more than one thing at once. I figure I can’t be the only one that this happens to.

Lizard Queen

What’s best in life?
Crush your coffee beans, see them drowned in water, and to hear the gurgling of the coffeepot.
-me

 

I can tell that autumn has finally arrived.

It isn’t the changing leaves (please, this is Central Texas. The only time leaves change colors is when we spray paint them). It isn’t the arrival of orange/yellow/brown “decorations”in the seasonal aisle of our HEB. It isn’t even pumpkin spice EVERYTHING.

pumpkin spice

No. I can tell because this is the time of year when Mister Man insists that all the windows be open. He says that we only get six weeks total of acceptable weather – three in the spring and three in the fall. While he may be right about the weather, I spend those six weeks shivering in my own home. To be fair, he didn’t know I was a Lizard Person until after he moved in. But, still.

Y’all, it was 44 degrees this morning. FORTY FOUR. And every damn window in the place was chocked open, to let in the “fresh air.”

Fresh air, FFS.

Please bring blankets, as the floor is cold, too.

I have spent the last several days huddled under blankets, wearing sweaters and thermals and thick socks. Although, it is a little hard to type while swaddled up like a baby-burrito. But, my players need me to finish the Talislanta/DnD crossover game. I’d like to finish it because it will make a great story.

I peeled them off so you could see what I consider an acceptable layer of blankets.
I peeled them off so you could see what I consider an acceptable amount of blankets.

 

But I have to emerge from my warmliness-cocoon sometimes. Nachos and coffee don’t make themselves, you know.

mmm. Nachos. /hellboy
The amount of BTUs lost during the making of the nachos was staggering. Or shivering. …whatever.

 

For now, I must return to my work.
However, this evening is all about Machiavellianism and NPCs and meta-meta arcs.

Moo ha ha ha.
Moo ha ha ha.

And if you think I am giggling quietly to myself, you are quite wrong.

It’s more of a sinister chuckle, really.

 

I should really get a fluffy white cat to stroke while I plot.

 

—–

1 – I use the word loosely.